


Stranger

by paulmcflurry



Category: M.I.B
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-01-20 02:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1493545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulmcflurry/pseuds/paulmcflurry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are no strangers you want to know about, but for some people it's different. Two people in particular; who are circling around each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**[*]**

 

The wind circled around him, making him grin mindlessly when strands of his brown hair flew into his face, before he slipped them into place with his fingers. He was then walking with his guy friends, together like a clique, talking about something that wasn't near as important to Hangil, or that's what he thought.

As he walked on by, Hangil hastily turns to a side, hoping that Kangnam wouldn't see him. True enough, he never did notice.

Jongsu, who was sitting beside Hangil in a small chair outside a cafe, nudged his elbow with his eyebrows crossed. "Dude, why didn't you call him?"  
Hangil turns to face him. "I.. I don't know. I just couldn't."

"God, Hangil, if you're not going to start being a man, you're not going to get a man." Jongsu massaged his temples, spitting the words out of his mouth angrily. "How many times have you seen him and not spoken to him? There were so many opportunities."

Hangil sighed. "The next time -"  
"That 'next time' excuse again isn't going to work for the 4th time."

"I just need more time." Hangil spoke, before leaving his seat.  
"See if that excuse gets you to places in five years," Jongsu said, as Hangil walks his way back, alone.

Being in love never was this difficult to handle.

 

Kangnam chewed on the insides of his mouth, not blatantly listening to any of the words his friends were saying; he blocked it and tried to turn them into white noise. He glanced over at his friends, gnawing at their own words, laughing along to all of their useless jokes they were making. Giseok, one of the bunch who always kept silent and rarely laughed, walked forward so that he could speak to Kangnam by his side.

"So," He said calmly, "When are you going to get into a relationship again?"

"Again?" Kangnam chuckled. "It's been forever since I've gotten into one. Don't think I will.. ever again."

"Surely you will. Currently there's plenty of fish in the sea." Giseok folded his arms.  
"The sea is polluted and the fish are turning horrible. And me as a busboy, I'm not interested and I wish I can, but I can't help at all, Giseok."

"You're always smiling, but we never know what's really going on in your head." Giseok shook his head.  
Kangnam air flicked Giseok's head with his hand. "Not really. Secrets make people's lives better, my friend."

Still, at work, as a busboy in a fancy restaurant, it definitely wasn't easy for Kangnam. Clearing out the plates, cleaning the tables, and occasionally being a mini-waiter everyday wasn't what Kangnam wanted as a job as a five-year old kid. Finding a decent job wasn't easy; like how many millions of people have said. As the newspaper had only left one spot for a busboy, and all of the other jobs were taken, he had to suck it up and go for it. He immediately got the job after; no one wanted a hard job with not a lot of pay. "But that's what I have to do," Kangnam would whisper to himself.

On the train home, it was crowded, but it wasn't very much of a big deal for Kangnam as he had to endure a tight ride home everyday. In the mornings he'd catch a cab if he was late, or if he was early he'd take the train still, yet there would be little to no strangers on it. There was no in between. Eyeing across the train, he saw children running regardless that it was bumpy and their parents shouting their names, lonely and tired workers on their way home.. But it was always the young in puppy love couples that caught his attention. Maybe it was that he was one of the lonely workers on the train, maybe it was the fact that he was single for years.

He looked down, but turned his head to his right when he heard someone cough fakingly. It was Hangil, and he was shyly turning away after getting Kangnam's attention. Kangnam, surprised with his eyebrows arched, smirked. Although he never knew Hangil, he knew that something about him was.. special and likable. He wanted to tap him on the back and speak to him - since he had no real friends except for Giseok, and he was craving another.

But Kangnam figured out that keeping silent would be best.

When Kangnam's stop came, the both of them faced each other, as if their eyes could speak to one another, however silly that would be. Hangil, being a natural coy lad, faced the ground immediately.

However, this time around, grinning.

Though to tell the truth, Hangil wanted them to talk, just like Kangnam. Nonetheless it was too late, and regrets came pouring in Hangil's head.... or was it? Hangil let out a distant 'Bye' from his lips, blushing. Kangnam's eyes brightened, as if he was looking at something beautiful the first time around. He winked at Hangil.

And off there he went.

Hangil never felt so accomplished from doing the most simplest task ever in his life.

 

When Hangil reached home, he fell on his bed with his eyes shut and arms practically up in the air. His stomach grumbled, but he didn't want to eat. The small ulcer on the side of his tongue made it hard for him to eat and smoke if he wanted to. And yet, his back was aching still, ever since he sat in his confined work place for thousands of hours, so the feeling of lying on bed felt heavenly for him. He hadn't even taken off his shoes, nonetheless he didn't care. It was Jongsu's place, and he wasn't back yet anyway.

Next to his bed was a drawer. Hangil struggled to grab onto the framed picture on top of the drawer and when he did, he sighed deeply when he saw it. It was a picture of a young Hangil and his own family.

"I'm sorry for being so disappointing. I'm supposed to shower right now but I'm in bed." He mumbled to himself. Still, a few moments later and after a bit of pondering, he manages to quickly get out of bed and run towards the bathroom with his Peanuts towel on one hand and on the other hand holding an inexpensive Thomas the Tank Engine toothbrush. Sims would describe his towel and toothbrush particularly exquisite to the eyes.

His back was still aching the next day when he sat down to work. When he was offered a cough drop from a coworker, his tongue still hurt. "I thought you healed. I thought we promised to be best friends after that shower yesterday, Lenny." He spoke to himself, sucking the cough drop with one hand on his back soothing the ache. Obviously, Hangil wasn't that much interactive with people - he was nice when he was talked to, but he never did want to mouth over the other sentences like 'Are you free today' or 'Let's go for lunch together' from his lips, unless they were particularly close to him.

On his break he decided to go to a restaurant for a change. He wanted to eat something other than instant noodles in a Seven-Eleven outlet during breaks. He looked up the signboard above the building; 'Kaitlyn's Creek'. Hangil took out his wallet and scanned through the notes he had. It just was about right for him to buy something middle-class.

Just about as he was greeted by a friendly-looking server, Hangil jumped a little in his shoes when he saw a familiar looking figure.

 

Kangnam.

 

He had his hair messily yet pleasantly tied up in a bun, with some barrettes in his hair. The pink one was about to drop. He smiled to the customers, literally spreading the cheer to them, even though he was working quite a messy job.

"Sir?" The server spoke. "Sir?" She repeated.  
Hangil awoke from his senses. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just a little distracted."

It wasn't long before people started crowding in the restaurant, it was lunch time afterall. That meant that it kept waiters busy and they needed help to assist them to serve the dishes. Of course, Hangil excitedly anticipated what would happen if Kangnam served him the order, his delusional thoughts getting to him. He wondered if fate and destiny would align them together.

"Here you go, sir, your Salmon and Mushroom Past-"

 

 

"You!"  
Sure enough, destiny and fate aligned them together.

"Fancy meeting you here." Kangnam beamed, now sitting opposite Hangil. "My manager's going to kill me for this, but this'd be a nice time to talk." "I..I'm glad that you recognized me." Hangil said, forcing the words he wanted to protrude out of his mouth. Kangnam grinned. "I remember everyone I meet the day before. No big deal."  
Hangil, who still wasn't quite out of his shell yet, poked his pasta with a fork. "You better get back to work.. There's lots of people here and they'd need your help more than ever."

"I guess you're right, stranger," Kangnam's grin was still brightly worn on his face. As he left his seat, he patted Hangil's back. "Maybe we'll meet again. See ya." Yet, on the last minute it was followed by another pat and the words "Oh, and don't you ever slouch again.".

 

"Dude, who was that guy?" Jongsu asked Kangnam whilst washing the dishes in the sink.  
Kangnam wiped his hands on his green apron. "Just a guy I met on the train."

"Must be more than that," Jongsu cringed. "Wait, guy on the train?" "Yeah," Kangnam answers. "He has a mole on his nose." Kangnam decided not to add that he thought the mole was adorable the last minute.

Jongsu face palms in the air when he comes to a realization. "Oh my god, it's Hangil. I know him. He stays with me, but he never helps me pay the bills. Now he knows that you and I are working in this restaurant and he's going to stalk you every single breaktime." Kangnam's face brightens up. "Why is that?" He questions. Jongsu sighed, "Look, it seems that he's infatuated with you. The strange thing is, sometimes when he goes to a place, he'll see you. He'll see you everytime. I didn't believe it either, but when I went out with him yesterday, we saw you walking along with your friends. A guy like him wouldn't know someone like you, anyway." He continued, "Also, he told me that he saw you, 'a long haired beauty', again yesterday on the train, so I'm definitely sure it's him."

"Oh." Kangnam's gaze didn't wither. "So you never told him that we were working here, and about me, too?" He points to himself.

"Of course, what am I, crazy? I'm always keeping a look out for my friends for potential danger." Jongsu chuckled a bit.

"Kangnam! Table 18!"

"Okay. I have to go now. That Hangil guy seems interesting, keep me posted on things related to him." Kangnam said as he steps away from Jongsu with his signature smirk. "You wouldn't want to know." Is all Jongsu replies.

The both of them didn't manage to catch the same train back home, but the event that occurred during the afternoon was enough to keep them thinking about one another. "I wonder what's he working as," Kangnam mumbled to himself, sitting in his bed with loud 테테 blasting through his computer speakers. He grabs a magazine beneath his pillow and starts to flip through it. "His nose mole though. Hm."

 

"You didn't even tell me that he was a coworker of yours the whole time?" Hangil huffed. "For issues and the safety of his, I did not," Jongsu answered, standing next to the room's door. He folds his arms tightly. "I know his name and some details of his, but I'm not going to tell you in case you stalk him on Facebook or something. Still you could just ask him what's his name anyway."

"Me? No," Hangil snorted. "Um, well, do you think he's cute?" "Cute?" Jongsu's lifted eyebrows and wide grin were indirectly making fun of Hangil. "It look half of my courage to say that, so answer me." Hangil tapped his feet. "Ah, what if I told you that he had a lot of partners before? Would that answer your question?" Jongsu gushed, making the older a tad bit tense.

Hangil did not respond. He knew that the answer was 'yes', but he refused to speak. All for that because, what if, Kangnam had a partner right now and he didn't even know about it? "Hyung. Hyung." Jongsu snapped his fingers. "Get out of it. Now you answer my query."

"Probably," Hangil finally answered, though that's all he replies. "Now get out of my room." He pushes Jongsu out while Jongsu lets out a shriek.

"I'm never going to give you his name if you keep on treating your landlord like this," Jongsu croaked. "You're not a landlord," Hangil crosses his eyebrows. "Yet you completely ignored the first half of the sentence I spoke of just now." Jongsu hissed childishly.

Still, Hangil shut the door right in Jongsu's face right after. "You wouldn't even tell me even if I asked politely." Hangil rolled his eyes.

Although, a few moments later, a small note was slid under Hangil's door. When Hangil bent over to pick it up, he saw that 'Namekawa Yasuo / Kangnam', with the most pretentious handwriting ever, was all it said on one side. 'You owe me something now!' was written on the other.

At about 11:54 p.m., Kangnam received a friend request from him on Facebook. It was more than needed to make Kangnam smile without forcing himself - and of course, he accepted. Though Hangil never did know until he woke up in the morning as he was too scared to check his phone and slept right away when he sent it. Kangnam dried his hair, still wet from the shower he took, messily with a towel as he scrolled down Hangil's profile - his wall was full of family photos and friends' writings. "Just as what I expected," Kangnam grinned. "A family man." Nonetheless, his brow furrowed when he saw the number of girls on his wall that posted nonsensical statuses with them annoyingly referring to Hangil as 'oppa'. Kangnam was intimidated enough to exit the app and fall flat on his bed. "I wonder if we'll meet again tomorrow," Kangnam whispers to himself, a hand on his wall calendar.

Kangnam rests his eyes, closing them shut.

A new day was about to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who liked the first chapter! I really appreciate it a lot for those of you who enjoyed reading it. This fic is made up of parts of my life somehow in a strange way and sense, and Kangnam is loosely based on someone who is really special to me. I hope you guys will continue reading on the chapters until the end. Thank you again!

**[*]**

 

The stress inducing work is hopelessly tiring for Hangil everyday. Working as a marketing executive for products is incredibly tough for someone like him, as he is someone who isn't that much interested in developing marketing campaigns to promote ideas and products, much like Kangnam. However, he did not enjoy it as much as the older did with his job. Hangil would think in a way that working in a restaurant was better than brainstorming for ideas every second, and he'd think of how Kangnam would get free food.

"Think about it. Free food," Hangil grumbled, checking his emails with a pencil behind his ear and his eyes bloodshot from the freezing temperature in the room.

Hours of intense back-breaking work passed and it was finally time, at 10 p.m, that work was over for Hangil, who was the one that decided at the very last minute he'd walk to Kaitlyn's Creek. It was not that he was hungry, it was to see if he was lucky yet again, but which in this case, Hangil was very confident in. When he got to his destination, he stopped in his tracks and stared outside from the restaurant's glass windows, his constant and focused eyes searching for Kangnam.

As soon as he spotted Kangnam, who was about to exit the restaurant, messing with his barrettes in his hair (which was now much more untidily tied up in a ponytail) and only wearing a simple yellow hooded sweatshirt and a pair of jeans (though it looked like Kangnam was more than presentable to the eyes of others), Hangil ran a few distances away from the spot where he stood and walked to it again with his head bent down, desperately hoping that Kangnam would notice him.

"Any time now," Hangil said to himself, his head still low.

 

"Ow!" Hangil bleated in half agony, rubbing his left arm, as someone else who probably wasn't paying attention like the other, bumped into him. Though even so, he never did notice that it was the long haired rebel who unintentionally did.

Hangil lifts his eyes up. The both of them stared at each other for a second, silently with their faces full of curiosity before Kangnam gasps. "Hey!" Kangnam called on excitedly. When Hangil saw how Kangnam's eyes were widening animatedly with his eyebrows, he blushed, and maybe too much to the extent that he began to fidget around again when he stood still next to him.

"Hey." Hangil repeated, grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry about that. Are you okay?" Hangil nods as Kangnam sings, staring down at Hangil. "Off work, huh? Me too." said Kangnam.  
Hangil didn't know what to respond, yet still he did not want to bore Kangnam with his silent nature he always had.

"Yeah. Um, coincidence, right?" He spoke quietly. Kangnam smiles along, and soon it turned into a giggling fit when Hangil spoke of how good the pasta he had the day before was, in every full detail of which he had remembered how it tasted like. "Our soups are even better," Kangnam added. "Try our soup of shiitake mushroom when you're free, if you want." Hangil nodded, carefully listening to every word of what was said by him.

"So," Kangnam slipped his fingers into his pockets. "Do you want to tag along with me? I need to buy some things," He spoke, while taking out a notepad and a pen from his courier bag. When he finally does (after struggling for a while), he begins to flip through the pages of his notepad one by one rapidly. Hangil notices his messy scribbles, although most importantly, he notices the many pale colored scars on his fingers, which alerts him strangely.

"Ah, here's the page I was looking for," Kangnam thought out aloud, his gaze fixed on a checklist he wrote. Hangil had not given him an answer still, for he was, as usual, uselessly pondering to himself. He thought that it was a perfect opportunity for the both of them to interact with one another; however on the other hand, he found it simply hard to believe that a normal human being would classify him as exciting when he communicated with them. After Kangnam's own pondering, he asks again if Hangil wants to follow him along. Yet to this, Hangil, of course, says 'yes' in less than a few seconds.

"Great, let's go then." Kangnam grinned, as he gestures the younger one to walk with him side by side.

"Your name is Namekawa Yasuo.." Hangil spoke, catching up on his steps. "You're definitely not pure Korean, right?"  
Kangnam nods. "That's right," He rubbed his hands together. "That's why I like people calling me Kangnam. That nickname suits me, I think."

"I see." Hangil acknowledged. "But why that nickname?" He questions, trying his very best not to worry about the scars.  
"I'm a pretty strong man," Kangnam sheepishly smirked, to which it earns him a laugh from Hangil. "How old are you?"

"Oh. I'm 25." said Hangil. "Ah, I'm a year older than you." Kangnam commented.  
"I seriously thought you were younger," Hangil furrowed a brow. "Do you age backwards?" He added.  
"No!" giggled Kangnam, his voice high.

Along the way as they walked, they continued their conversations, with some questions here and there about what they were working as, or favorite music, asked by one or another. One in particular, was where was Jongsu (asked by Hangil), to which Kangnam answers not his question first, but instead he speaks of a statement that he prepared, that Jongsu lied to Hangil about the number of partners he once had. He admitted that he wasn't the type of guy that thought of who to date every time he looked at or talked to, and also confessing that he only had three partners in his whole life. The fact that Hangil stated about how Kangnam would have had a lot of admirers when he was young made Kangnam include a shrug of his, and when he was told that he was funny in a good way, he replied the words 'that could be true actually' with class, which made him much more admirable to Hangil.

Kangnam would explore shops and convenience stores as much as he could when he entered them - especially on this day with him being engaged in finding anything that he wanted, though he was hastily adding a few more items in his other invisible, unplanned checklist; as he was grabbing more than what he needed in the store they were in - so much that he needed help from Hangil to carry the items.

"What's up with those cuts on your hands?" Hangil finally managed to say. It seemed like he could just go crazy looking at the scars without knowing why and how Kangnam would hurt himself. He was standing next to Kangnam in the confectionery section of the store, and he points to Kangnam's hands, who was busy reading the back of a box of chocolates before looking up at the speaker. Kangnam glared at the back of his own hand with an serious aura, looking upon the inconsistent sizes of every different cut.

"These cuts? These are from washing plates from working as a busboy," He answerd, pulling up a sleeve.  
"Be careful, alright? You have a lot of cuts." Hangil gulped, before taking a packet of gobstoppers and stacking the packet onto the things he was holding onto. Kangnam beholds Hangil, and gives a sign that he acknowledges.

By the time they exited the store, it was observed that they already had more than three carriers, and so Hangil decided to carry two of them, which was filled with packaged loafs of bread, candies, instant noodles and other the comfort food Kangnam bought. Hangil had only bought gobstoppers and processed food, and to that he gave Kangnam the other three lighter carriers, one which was Hangil himself's, and he held the two last heavier ones. Kangnam shook his head several times, refusing to let the other carry the heavier bags, but after a long persuasion made by Hangil, that and his fairly good excuses, it made the touched Kangnam change his mind.

"You're walking to the train station, right?" Hangil rubbed a weary eye of his, to which he then hugged himself, still holding the carriers and all, protecting his own self from the cold that was arriving. "Nope." Kangnam shivered. "On Fridays, I always board the last bus home instead. It's nice to do that once in a while." The younger nods in agreement, before telling the older that he boards the bus home some days too, which was, in this case, absolutely false as he knew himself that he took the train back every single day. And it was noted to himself later that how ironic it was as a few days earlier he was screaming at Jongsu how much he hated the bus horribly and promising not to ever board a bus ever again, when waiting for one later.

Hangil also shared a story of his that while he was still in elementary school, he talked to himself for a whole year crazily, though he had forgotten all about that year he did, 'til an old friend of his reminded him so. "Whether or not he was actually being serious about that or not I really have no clue," Hangil would squint his eyes.

He would quip once in awhile of Kangnam's girl like features, especially his hair, and Kangnam would continue his bouts of happiness as they walked alongside each other to the bus stop. But Hangil never adored anything much like the most than the other's ears - his left one in particular, that always had a mole on it. However, it was never spoken that it was.

"Well, my bus is here." Kangnam said, and it was noticed that his eyes were not glowing drastically anymore, after he saw his bus arrive up a rocky road. They exchange back their carriers.

"It was nice meeting you. I really like talking to you a lot, Hangil." Kangnam complimented, the glow coming back with the corners of his own mouth rising, after seeing the other's cheeks turn bright pink. "You're a nice guy to be around."  
It makes Hangil shyer.

"I'll give you a free milkshake if you stop by next week or so, or whenever you're visiting my restaurant again!" He shouted out towards Hangil as he starts to make his way on the bus, after giving him three pats on the back. "Sounds good!" Hangil yelled, before he spoke of a goodbye - Kangnam exclaims back a farewell, and it ends the time they spent together preciously.

Hangil sits down alone on the seats of the bus stop, and when the bus Kangnam was on left, he immediately decided that he'd try out boarding buses again. Whatever Kangnam did, it wouldn't seem too bad, right? True enough, Kangnam was right, making Hangil a bit surprised when he found out that he enjoyed the ride home more than the train's, and the fact that not many people were on it.

 

When Hangil reached home, Jongsu had already knew of what happened earlier on, as his co-worker friends had messaged him when Jongsu was on his way home, on what they saw outside the store - and of course, it was expected that Jongsu would tease Hangil about how he walked back and forth to make Kangnam see him. Nonetheless Hangil was just too jovial to tend back to Jongsu's teasing, to simply putting his hand on Jongsu's face when asked the question if he loves Kangnam. He was satisfied that he talked to Kangnam, now knowing him better. He learnt that he once had three dogs (all named Mochi, Kapi Kapi, and Rocky, his favorite) and once, a cat (obviously an animal lover); how badly that ended up when a lot of pets were running around in his apartment, that he stayed in Hawaii once and that he plays the piano and the guitar fairly well. And how Kangnam learnt of Hangil that he wrote poetry (to which Kangnam did not believe the first time), had a back tattoo of his family (which made Kangnam soften), and practically how much he loves Ferrero Rochers, so much that Kangnam eventually decided to buy a box of them for him as a present earlier on. Hangil had also took into great detail and noticed how much their personalities connected to each other almost immediately, and how Kangnam wimped out when Hangil spoke of tattoos, as he said his mother would kill him if he had one. Kangnam saw that Hangil was a natural-born leader, and was quite funny at times though it could be sensed that Kangnam had admitted that he himself was much more.

But maybe Jongsu was right, Hangil is just probably infatuated with Kangnam. Despite that, Hangil is still hoping to cherish what emotions he has for him right now as it just seems utterly desirable.


	3. Chapter 3

**[*]**

 

The news of Hangil crushing on Kangnam spread like wildfire. Jongsu was clearly the one who was wholly responsible of it, and even if it wasn't that much exciting, the people were living such mundane lives that they didn't even care if it was or not. 

Hangil had to cover up himself with his might when he was asked vacuous questions about the situation. A person would come up to Hangil and say, "I'm a friend of Jongsu's, and I've heard something about you liking this bus boy guy called Yasuo, that works in Kaitlyn's Creek? Have you guys hit it off yet? Where does he like to kiss you? Is he exciting?", Hangil would sigh tiredly, and answer sarcastically that the person would be perfect as a paparazzi. Kangnam, on the other hand, didn't care as much about the gossip that surrounded him. He was still as carefree as ever, unlike Hangil, who was slowly getting stressed over it. He figured out that it wouldn't be necessary to woe over it, although he was essentially a nervous wreck deep inside. 

"Heard that some guy is heads over heels you," Giseok remarked, taking a sip of his soda from a straw. He and Kangnam were, as usual, taking a stroll around the city off their free time. "And yet you said you wouldn't fall in love ever again, to me days before?" He questioned.

"It's best not to poke your head around my life." Kangnam retorted back, and a guaranteed pang of shock came from Giseok. Nonetheless, Kangnam gives Giseok a pat on the back after with a grin, guilt written all over his face. "Just kidding, but for real though." 

"I see." An unconvinced Giseok said.  
Messing with his hair, Kangnam asked, "What about you, Giseok? How's your love life going out for you?"  
Giseok sighed. "I'm still single, you know."

"Well, how about this? Do you want to meet a friend of mine? His name's Jongsu." Kangnam smirked, and Giseok's face brightened. 

 

"Come take a look at this, Hangil!" Jongsu yelled from across the living room. "What?" Hangil, who was sitting on his bed, roars back. "Just come out of your room!" Jongsu calls again at the top of his voice. Hangil huffed as he stepped out of his room. Jongsu always called Hangil out for unimportant things (still for today he seemed particularly excited), though it was certainly for sure that Hangil wouldn't keep up with it any longer.

"What is it?" Hangil repeated in a vexed tone. Jongsu projected his phone towards Hangil's face. It was a conversation of Kangnam and Jongsu. "'Hey, a friend of mine wants to meet you. Wakeshield Cafe, 2 p.m. Bring Hangil along.'" Hangil read it aloud, cross-eyed, before pushing it away. "See what he wrote there? A friend of his wants to meet me." Jongsu enthusiastically yakked. 

"Wow, you might actually score a partner today." Hangil nodded knowingly. Jongsu nervously checks the time on his phone, and replied, "Come on, let's get ready first," before rushing off to the shower. Hangil laughed, he'd never seen him in this state before. 

After they'd finished preparing, Jongsu would be seen frantically checking the time, and Hangil would make a wimpy remark on it. When Hangil asked of Jongsu what he'd expect, he would say that he didn't mind of one's gender, and he wouldn't really care unless the person was horrible in personality. It was strange to Hangil, and he thought, maybe Jongsu hid himself from a clown mask, but he wore it so well that it was impossible to see, though a clown mask wouldn't be that impossible to differ from. 

 

Kangnam was impatiently waiting inside the cafe, his foot tapping made Giseok more nervous as he bit on his straw. They turned their heads around when Jongsu called out for Kangnam's name, and Giseok was a bit taken aback when he stared at Jongsu - he'd never seen such a friendly face before, despite what Kangnam said of him. Jongsu's lifted eyebrows and half smile greeted Giseok shyly as he and Hangil sat. Hangil sat opposite of Kangnam, who was distinctively eyeing him out. Hangil beamed as Kangnam winked yet again at him before he spoke. 

"Ah, Giseok. This is Jongsu and Hangil. Hangil and Jongsu, Giseok."

Hangil and Giseok grinned, but Giseok wasn't entirely interested in him as he was in Jongsu. When he and Jongsu exchanged their greetings and a handshake, it wasn't before long that they were ignoring Hangil and Kangnam with their own personal conversations. Hangil and Kangnam were sitting there in silence, all along, listening to them, though soon it pretty much turned into eavesdropping. 

"So," mumbled Kangnam, finally breaking the silence for the both of them, as he put his hands on the table. He clenched both of his hands together. "Strange how some people get along so fast, right?"

Hangil grinned. 

He places his own hands on top of Kangnam's surprisingly, noticing of Kangnam's sweaty palms, though Kangnam wimped out a bit and broke free. "Sorry. I'm ticklish." Kangnam explained as he clutches onto Hangil's hands instead. Hangil shifted a bit in his seat, although it is obvious that he doesn't mind, and likes it better this way. 

Nonetheless when Jongsu and Giseok switched their gazes to Hangil and Kangnam for once, the both of them rapidly removed their hands from one another's. "Puppy love." Jongsu commented, and Giseok laughs for once. Hangil and Kangnam would give each other smirks with a raised eyebrow whenever something similar happened at that time. 

After minutes of what seemed like eternity to Kangnam and Hangil, Jongsu asked if they would be interested in following him and Giseok to a bar later on, just to hang out with some other friends of theirs and dance there for the night ("No drinking though. I hate drinking." Giseok would say).

"I don't know.." Kangnam answered, his eyes focusing on Hangil instead, expecting an answer from the younger. "Do you want to?" Is all Hangil says to Kangnam. Kangnam starts to speak, but hesitates. 

"My heart is melting for these two." added Giseok with a hand placed on his own chest. Jongsu slapped his knee as Kangnam blurts out, "You little brat!" Clearly, Giseok and Jongsu were becoming increasingly attached to one another, and Hangil wanted that for him and Kangnam too. 

Hangil agreed before the consent and agreement of Kangnam, and seven hours later the four of them were on their way there, with Giseok in the driver's seat of his own car. Though before that, they went to Jongsu's apartment and stayed there. Jongsu and Giseok hastily locked themselves in a room minutes after they arrived, and who knew what they did? Kangnam and Hangil obviously didn't have a clue. Hangil had soon let Kangnam in his room, and they began to talk of one another's lives. They both knew that they had to learn more about each other.

 

Giseok and Jongsu were busily chatting to each other in the car. Jongsu would hit Giseok's knee once in a while when they cracked wise jokes. Hangil and Kangnam, on the other hand, did not communicate as much. Kangnam seemed exceptionally tired and sleepy, and Hangil took notice of that quickly. 

"Hey, you alright? You seem really tired." Hangil seemed genuinely concerned. Kangnam had droopy red eyes and was trying to keep them open. He leaned his hands on his forehead, as he whispered, "I'm alright, Hangil. Though I really don't want to go to the bar."

Hangil bit his bottom lip, murmuring, "Do you want to go home then?"  
"Please," was all Kangnam answered, to make Hangil command attention successfully from the others, which was a useful trait of his that was greatly respected.

"Oh, come on! We're already here." Jongsu hissed.  
"All that I'm saying is that I'm getting Kangnam back home by cab," Hangil continued. "While both of you guys party all night there. I don't care." He grabbed onto and squeezed Kangnam's hand.

Jongsu and Giseok sat silent for a moment, before Jongsu spoke. "Fine then. Gi, let them go."

 

Kangnam fumbled with his keys. He wasn't in his best state - and he wasn't proud of himself for letting Hangil see him like this. 

"God," Kangnam spat, struggling to open his own door. "Here, let me help." offered Hangil, grabbing the keys from Kangnam. He fiddled with them at first, but it wasn't before long that they got in the apartment. 

Kangnam gave him a look and chuckled. "Thanks. We would be stuck outside for another five minutes if you didn't help me." Hangil sighed of approval and grinned at the older, handing back the keys to him. 

"Can I shower here?" Hangil questioned as he slips his shoes off. Kangnam nods, rubbing his knuckles. 

"But," spoke Kangnam. The younger had saw Kangnam start, yet hesitate once more. 

"Hangil, are you staying for the night?" inquired Kangnam. He looked like he didn't want Hangil to leave, and he was practically pleading with his own eyes. Kangnam was an insomniac - he loved the dark as much, but he could not find himself sleeping at 2 a.m, even if his room was pitch-black. He needed someone to stay with him after all of these years of staying alone, even if it were just for a night. 

It was a question Hangil did not expect, and therefore he did not know how to answer. Hangil took off his jacket, left it on the sofa and replied with another query. "What do you think?" 

They both smirk, and it was soon realized that he was; and when Hangil got out from the shower, Kangnam was there, sleeping silently on his floral bed. He'd left a huge gap next to him, which invited Hangil over - the temptation was too difficult to resist, sleeping next to someone adorable. 

The small lamp next to the bed was soon switched off. 

Kangnam and Hangil never had slept better in months.


	4. Chapter 4

**[Kangnam]**

 

It was really early in the morning, and I felt like sleeping again, but then I remembered Hangil was sleeping right beside me. I swore that he snored a lot yesterday night, though it seemed like he wasn't at all. He was sleeping soundly now, with his mouth open, drool all over the other end of the pillow. Not a real pleasant sight, but hey, I drool too.

Rubbing my neck, I stood up from the bed. It was only 7:30 a.m, I checked. I didn't want to wake Hangil up that early in the morning, so I went to wash up. I shaved off the hair on my chin, and clacked my teeth in front of the mirror. It was then that I thought long and hard of what Hangil and I were turning into. What was I getting into, bringing some guy back to my home and letting him stay for night, and especially, sleeping with me in my own bed? It was simply too fast for me, and I certainly felt uncomfortable.

I soaked my face with water and wiped it with a towel of mine, although it wasn't enough for me to ignore the fact that I was forming a blossoming relationship with a guy, somehow. What have I gotten into again?

I shook my head hard, then I looked at my reflection in the mirror once more.  
"Are you happy?" I spoke to myself.

My heart started thudding. I knew the answer, but I wasn't sure of myself thinking that way.

I exited the bathroom and checked the TV schedule. Nothing great was on at the moment, so I wrote off the idea I had for watching TV to pass the time. Still I sat on the couch, and there laid Hangil's jacket, which fell. I put it back up, on top of the sofa. I was doing literally everything to get yesterday out of my head. Of course, it wouldn't just go away.

I remembered what Hangil said to me when we were in his room. Him saying that it was okay if he was the one who had an unrequited love for me, and fine if I didn't like him back. I wanted to say that I really did. I really did like him. Till it came to me, and it reminded me of the past. Never again would I want to be like my old self.

I felt guilty when he'd said that it was okay still, when I didn't say anything at all, and he'd protect me anyhow. I could never forget the pained look on his face he tried to cover with his smile. I regretted it. I always wanted to impress him, ever since we've met. The swift pace was turning my head upside down during that time.

Till then, I heard Hangil yawning. He was waking up.

I knew I had to explain. I had to say something.

When Hangil had walked out of the room, he was grinning at me when he spotted me on the couch. He probably didn't look at me the same way again from yesterday. The thought of him raising his voice to stop the car, to get me back home for me to rest.. Oh god, Hangil, you didn't have to do that. I'm sorry.

"Good morning." He said, rubbing his eyes awake. I held back my tears, mumbling back, "Good morning." He smiled yet again, and it never faded, till he went to wash up. He was that good to pretend that he was fine. My palms were shining again, my hands were shaking.

 

"Did you eat your breakfast yet?"

I shook my head no. He took back his jacket and put it on. "Do you want to tag along with me, and get some breakfast outside together?"

I could explain it all to him later if I said yes, so I did. When we finally found a decent place open at this time, we sat down opposite of each other and ordered something we could afford. As I ordered ice coffee, he said he wanted just plain water. I sensed that he didn't have enough money for other drinks.

"You want anything else than water? I can buy you a hot cup of coffee or something." I asked him.

He looked up at me, his face surprised.  
"It's okay. I don't want to bother the waiter anymore." Hangil answered.

The both of us stayed silent. When we both had finished our meals, I knew that it was time that I apologized.

"Hangil?" I called out.  
"Yes?" This time, he didn't look up.

"I'm sorry."  
The words were enough for him to stare.

He mumbled, with slight surprise, "What for?"

"I'm sorry for yesterday." I started, gulping. "I know you're disappointed with me, that I gave a wrong reaction when you said that it was okay if I didn't like you or not."

I saw Hangil's eyes sadden. I began to stutter, "There's a part of me that's just too afraid. But there's another that is attracted to you. I'm trying. I really do like you. And I'm sorry."  
Hangil glanced down before he responds, "There's no need for you to be sorry. There's no need for you to force it too."

I wasn't forcing myself. I liked him already.  
"I really do like you." I repeated myself.

He wasn't buying it.

The waiter came to our table and took our plates. Hangil thanked him, the waiter smiled back. Hangil got up, so I did too. He'd offered to pay for me, too, but in the end I persuaded him into us paying half-half.  
I couldn't bring up the courage to do it in the restaurant, so when we exited the place, I grabbed him by the shoulder a few feet away from it outside. And there we stood.

I had to try.

"Hangil, listen to me. I'm not forcing myself, I promise you!" I was holding up my hands on his cheeks, but Hangil was avoiding my stares again.

"I like you. I'll get through the fear, I promise, Hangil. I don't want to see you hurting secretly just because of me. Please listen to me, I'll make it work. Please.." I begged him, leaning my forehead against his. My knees were like rubber. I made his head face mine, and Hangil shut his eyes. A tear fell on his cheek.

"I don't want you to leave me. Nobody has ever loved me like this in years. I need that back from my life." I whimpered. "Please believe in me."

Hangil heeds, and he finally said, "I know you're forcing yourself. You feel guilty for me, right? Just because I'm alone?"  
Oh, god. Oh god. I shouldn't have said it in the first place. It's all coming off worse. I shouldn't have said it. But there was no turning back.

"No," I shook my head several times. My heart was pounding incredibly fast. "No."  
Hangil took steps back away from me. "I'll still love you, but I don't need you to love me back. I just want you to be you."

I raised my voice. "It'll hurt you even more! Hangil! Listen to me!" He turned quiet, and I could only hear myself breathing. I started to walk up to him yet again.

"I'm not lying to you. Please don't think that I don't like you. I'm sorry if I came off somewhat cold when you talked to me about us. It's just that when you said that, I felt that it was too fast paced for us to be in a relationship now. Give me time. I swear, when I'm ready, with no fear again, I'll do it."

Hangil sighed. I breathed so hard that my neck hurt. I didn't even notice that I had teared up so bad that my eyes were now swollen. "Fine," Hangil said under his breath. He stared into my eyes, and I swore that his eyes were red, and his lips were trembling like mine. "Whenever you're ready then."

I sniffed and glanced away from him. I probably looked terrible. It was embarrassing that I had begged to him. I wasn't ever like this.

"Kangnam, please stop crying,"  
Tears were now dripping on Hangil's cheek. He was crying now.

"Don't cry."  
He planted a kiss on top of my forehead. I started to tear up even more, when he saw that I still was. The kiss he gave me stayed for a while.

"Come on.."

He hugged me tight, but I wish he stopped. I really wish he did. He didn't have to.


	5. Chapter 5

**[*]**

 

Things weren't always what they'd seem like.

Hangil was petrified. Time would eventually erase away his love for Kangnam bit by bit. A mix of emotions was eating Hangil up alive - if only Kangnam had listened to him in his own little mind, he thought. Would waiting for Kangnam pay off in the end? It would, if he'd try to keep his love from withering. 

He came to a realization that he needed to convince Kangnam, and himself, into thinking that their relationship would progress well enough. Well enough to kiss, well enough to leave an undying spot in their hearts that'd never go away, and well enough to keep themselves feel loved for years to come. That was all they needed, or at least, wanted. 

A few nights later, Jongsu announced to Hangil at home that he'd be having Giseok over to stay for a few days. "He'll camp here. It'll be fun." Jongsu said, looking at his phone. Hangil wasn't sure how to react to it. "Will you guys make a lot of noise?" He asked, a tad bit discontented, as Jongsu did not ask for his consent on letting Giseok stay, and did not inform him of it. 

"No," Jongsu spoke, his eyebrows protruding. "You could join us for our movie nights home if you want." 

Hangil frowned slightly. The echoing of Jongsu and Giseok having a laughing fit at 2 a.m wouldn't make him sleep at all, but he had no choice. "Fine." was all Hangil remarked, and he went back to his room to sleep. 

Hangil woke up an hour later, at about 12 a.m - all because of the loud booming music from the living room, and pretentious laughter. Giseok must be here, he thought. He covered his ears with his pillow and continued to attempt on sleeping. He couldn't, of course, and when he reached the point where he wanted to smother Giseok and Jongsu with his pillow, he sat up on his bed, annoyed. 

"I'm gonna go crazy if they don't stop!" Hangil exclaimed to himself, messing up his bed head much more. He got up from his bed and walked to the living room, and there he yelled, "KEEP IT DOWN!" 

Soon Giseok and Jongsu glared at Hangil with startled looks. They were sitting on the couch, with bags of potato chips. The music continued to blast on louder and louder, though Jongsu and Giseok seemed like they didn't care about it, when they simply ignored Hangil, much to his dismay. He went back to his room and shut his door with grunts, frustrated that he couldn't stop them. The both of them couldn't listen, and Hangil didn't have a clear solution to it either. An idea came to his mind, though, and it was to stay over at Kangnam's house for a few nights. He remembered some details of his address. But, ever since the day Kangnam cried, they hadn't met for some time. They didn't bump into, or see each other either. "Whatever, at least I won't have to deal with these two." Hangil spoke to himself, packing his backpack with clothes. And if he didn't have enough clothes for work, he'd borrow some from Kangnam, he decided. 

When he walked out of his room and made his way outside, Jongsu and Giseok sat there, confused. With a bloated backpack hanging from his shoulders, where was he even going? Did he have anywhere to go, even? Those were all they thought. They didn't say anything to Hangil, as they were staring at him, and shrugged to one another when Hangil left.

Hangil was lucky enough to board a cab at this time of the night. He wondered, if Kangnam was still awake. It was possible - he never slept early. Kangnam told Hangil about it once. He would go to every possible store that was open and walk there for hours to come, and sleep when he came back from wandering. "It was kind of like sleep walking." Kangnam added. 

Hangil stood at the outside of Kangnam's house when he arrived, ringing the doorbell and knocking on his door several times. Kangnam finally answered by opening the door after the 4th ring. His eyes rejoiced tiredly when he saw Hangil; surprised, even. 

"Hey.." Kangnam mumbled. "What are you doing here?" He glanced over at Hangil's backpack.  
"I would like to stay here for a while, if you don't mind." Hangil responded. "You see, Giseok's staying over at Jongsu's for a while. I couldn't even sleep just now because of them." 

Kangnam nodded. "Come in." He chimed. 

Hangil stepped into the house and slipped off his shoes as he inquired, "Where would I be sleeping?" 'With Kangnam again?' He pondered to himself. "Anywhere you want to. The couch, my bed." Kangnam had his hand on his elbow. Hangil noticed that Kangnam hadn't smiled to him yet. It wasn't much of a big deal, but enough for him to wonder about. "Okay then." stated Hangil, placing his backpack on the couch. He decided to sleep on the couch, and it wasn't that he felt now that it was uncomfortable for him to sleep alongside the other, but it was that his snoring would distract Kangnam when he tries to sleep.

"Couch, huh?" said Kangnam as Hangil sat down on the couch. "I'll get you a pillow and a blanket." Hangil thanked him, and rummaged through his backpack for his toothbrush, before heading to the bathroom to wash up. 

However, when he got back to the living room to sleep, Kangnam had already slept and switched off the lights. It was pitch black, and he felt insecure in the living room, but it was better than having noise; at least to Hangil. Although that, in that moment, he realized he should've made the decision to sleep with Kangnam instead when he laid down on the couch. 

The next morning, Hangil woke up with Kangnam gently patting his shoulders up. "Wake up," Kangnam said. Hangil's eyes opened slowly. Kangnam was in his work clothes, and his hair was messily tied up, though with hair gel it still was. "What time is it?" Hangil tried to stretch his arms. 

"Um," Kangnam stared at his watch. "7:34 a.m."  
"I'm late!" Hangil nervously belted out, throwing aside the covers and rushing towards the bathroom. Kangnam watched him, as the anxiety ran through Hangil's veins. Kangnam waited for Hangil patiently, he still had time, as Hangil dressed up. When he walked out of a room and started to wear his shoes, Kangnam guiltily remarked, "I'm sorry for waking you up this late." 

"It's okay," Hangil trifled, sighing. "It's my fault, I didn't turn on the alarm." 

The both of them took the same train to work. It was usual, crowded. They didn't talk much to one another, but Hangil didn't mind. When it was Hangil's stop, Kangnam spoke of a 'bye', though that was only it. They didn't say anything else. 

At work, Hangil suffered a scolding from his boss, and it didn't help that he had lots of work to complete, and the deadlines were near. He worked twice as hard as ever. Yet after work, walking out of the building, Kangnam was waiting for him outside. He was checking his phone, paying no attention to his surroundings. "Kangnam!" Hangil called out, and Kangnam looked up. At long last, Kangnam grinned, as Hangil went towards him. "I was waiting for you." Kangnam proclaimed, sliding his phone back down his pocket. 

"I know." responded Hangil, smirking. "I see," Kangnam said, as he put his hand on Hangil's shoulder. "Let's go home and watch some TV." 

"No buying of food this time around?" Hangil commented, expecting a laugh from Kangnam. Kangnam chuckles, "I still have the food we bought last time."

"Oh," Hangil beamed at Kangnam's giggling. Kangnam put his arm around Hangil's shoulder. Hangil looked down and muttered, "Could I sleep next to you again tonight?" 

"Sure." Kangnam answered in a much chirpier tone, with a subtle smile. 

It was a Friday, and so they walked to the bus stop. Kangnam would nudge Hangil with his shoulder every now and then when he saw something to his interest along the way - especially when Kangnam saw an adorable dog, and alerted Hangil. He was grinning, from ear to ear, when Kangnam tried petting it. "Hold still!" Kangnam said. The dog was practically trying to escape from him. "Let me," Hangil insisted, as he squat down alongside Kangnam, getting the dog's attention with his fingers. "Here." Hangil spoke to the little dog, which to it the dog obeyed and stood still for Hangil to pet. "I'm impressed," uttered Kangnam, now petting the dog. "It seems to like you better."

"Bonnie.." Hangil read the tag on the collar of the dog. "Looks like she's lost."  
"Oh, poor you," Kangnam spoke to the dog. "Who and where is your owner?"

"We can't leave her here just like that." said Hangil to Kangnam. "Maybe we should find her owner. Her owner must be looking for her." responded Kangnam, who was frowning.

"Bonnie!"  
A voice called out, and there went Bonnie. Hangil and Kangnam looked in the direction where Bonnie ran; she was running towards a couple, who had relieved looks on their faces. The couple petted Bonnie as the girl exclaimed, "We thought you'd be lost forever!" Bonnie barked back at her, her tail wagging continuously. 

Kangnam stood up as he grinned at the wonderful sight.  
"Well, there goes that." Hangil got up as well.

"I'm glad Bonnie's reunited with her owners." Kangnam sniffled.  
Hangil peeked at Kangnam to check if he was tearing up. "Tears of happiness?"

The older nodded, but there were no tears, just a flood of emotions. 

They got back home, and when the both of them had finished showering, they turned on the TV, and sat on the couch, Kangnam with a bowl of Mac 'n' Cheese, Hangil with a bowl full of milk and Fruit Loops. Hangil was wearing Kangnam's jersey from high school. "Cereal at night?" Kangnam commented. "I like it and that's what matters." was all what Hangil answered that kept Kangnam entertained.

"Change the channel for me, will you?" Kangnam inquired, guzzling his Mac 'n' Cheese. Hangil hastily searched for the remote with his right hand, his eyes only focusing on the screen. He hadn't noticed that he grabbed onto Kangnam's thigh, accidentally, and quickly retreated when he realized what he did. He panicked, trying to find the remote. "I felt that." Kangnam implied, not looking at Hangil. Hangil blushed. 

A few minutes later, they had gotten bored of television. Kangnam had finished his meal, and Hangil was busy gulping down the milk left. It was 1 a.m in the morning, and the lights were blinding their eyes. Kangnam got up and turned off the lights, before heading to the kitchen. Hangil was still on the couch, yet slurping speedily. When Hangil walked towards the sink to wash the bowl, Kangnam, who was washing his own bowl, took it from him and mumbled, "I'll help you wash that." Hangil replied a sincere 'thanks', and went to help, turning off the TV. 

It would be very late for Hangil, but it was the opposite for Kangnam. Nonetheless, although despite the fact of that, Kangnam felt sleepy and tired all of a sudden tonight, and went to brush his teeth, immediately, when he finished washing the dishes.

Hangil had taken a tube of toothpaste from the bathroom, and so he brushed his teeth in the kitchen sink. He thought of Jongsu and Giseok. They would be still laughing horrendously noisily, loud music in the background and all, and somehow Hangil thought that the neighbors would yell at them for doing so, or they probably did already, but Hangil didn't care as much.

Hangil got to bed, but he soon noticed, when he stepped into the room, that Kangnam wasn't there. He searched for him, and when he did, he saw Kangnam sleeping, on the couch on the living room instead.


	6. Chapter 6

**[Hangil]**

 

"Jongsu hasn't begged you to go back yet?" Kangnam asked me.  
I cringed slightly, and answered, "No, I don't think he ever wants me to go back home."

The both of us were in the living room, sitting on the chairs next to a table. We had just brushed our teeth and woken up.

"I'm sorry I played cupid." admitted Kangnam. He wasn't much that heartfelt, as he was flashing his signature smile brightly, or so I thought. "It's all good." I replied to him. At least I could spend some time with him instead; Kangnam would've felt the same way, too.

Kangnam tapped his fingers on a table. "What are we going to do today?" He mumbled. I glanced around the living room, pretending that I hadn't listened to what he had said. "Ah! Got it," Kangnam suddenly spoke, and I turned my head to face him. "Let's go to the mall."

The mall? "Sure." I answered without much thought. Well, anything that just involves him and me, I'm in for it.

Kangnam got up from his chair. I did, too. "There's just a mall nearby," He stated. "I go there almost everyday." That would explain why he'd always have places to go at night, when he couldn't sleep.

We didn't change as he thought we looked okay; we simply got our wallets and headed for the door. I was unsure of his opinion - did I really look presentable with uncombed hair?

"Hey, I just realized that I hadn't had your number yet!" said Kangnam, a bit surprised. He checked his phone to see if he did. "No." He announced.

That was right - I didn't even have his number all along. I never asked him for it, neither did he. I gave him a look, "Right," I uttered. "What's yours?" We exchanged our numbers before leaving. As Kangnam locked the door, I asked, "So, what happened to your dog?"

"Which one?" Kangnam's eyes gleamed at me.

"All three. Mochi, Kapi Kapi and Rocky."

Kangnam grinned cheerfully."You remembered their names, huh?"  
I smiled back. Of course I did. How could I not? They were cute names.

We started to make our way, as he started, "I gave all three of them away."  
I raised an eyebrow. "'Cause they were too much?"

"Well, yeah," Kangnam explained, "Three is too much for me. And as you know, I'm a light sleeper, so.." He discontinued his sentence, and was staring at me.

I nodded. "How about the cat?"

"Tuna?"  
"Tuna? Tuna was its name?"

"He didn't quite belong to me. He was a friend's." confessed Kangnam, his eyebrows crossing and eyes squinting from the sun.

"Oh," I said back in response. "Do you miss them?"

Kangnam nodded as a reply. He probably really did - I saw how his gaze centered around Bonnie and her owners the night before - nostalgia hit him right in the eye.

"What do you think of Jongsu and Giseok?" He tried to change the topic.

"They're inexperienced," was all I could say. It was the truth. "I don't know." I added at the last minute. "Inexperienced is fitting. They're the kind of the young couples you'd see when you were a teenager." Kangnam admitted. I agreed, they were. We didn't continue talking about them. We had soon reached where the mall was, but Kangnam guided me to a cafe outside first to eat breakfast. I wasn't much hungry, and felt that I couldn't stomach a lot, so I just had toast instead.

I wasn't that much surprised when Kangnam ordered more than toast. The employee who gave him a look was.

We then sat down next to the windows.  
"Would you like to stay in my apartment?" questioned Kangnam.

"I already am, am I?" I inquired.  
"No, I mean," Kangnam continued, "Stay there for more than a while."

I flinched. "You mean like, move in?"  
He nodded vaguely.

"I..I'll think about that. I'm not sure." I looked away from him. I could sense that he was, still, gazing at me, looking for another answer. He'd wanted me to say yes. Did he? I didn't know, but I had hoped so.

I thought of all of the things we'd do together alone if I moved there - but most of them were what couples did together when they were - it'd be awkward for the both of us. We weren't exactly partners yet. I was, surprisingly, uncertain.

"It'll be fun, you know," Kangnam added through gritted teeth, now fiddling with his phone in his hand. "Anyways, it's your choice." He was hinting that he was trying to let what we have grow.

I couldn't say no. The thought of Jongsu and Giseok made me dizzy. Jongsu might invite Giseok over anytime, too, so it would be best that I did. I forcefully replied back a yes, and I saw how Kangnam grinned. The feeling of satisfaction could be seen from it.

He knew that I couldn't escape him either way.. how clever of him, I thought.

We talked more about poems. Kangnam had asked me to recite one of mine's for him.

"No."  
"Why?" Kangnam lit up animatedly.

I liked how his eyes would enliven me by uplifting - it made me laugh unintentionally. I had never in my life met anyone like him. I laughed, "I can't possibly remember. I'll bring my book when I move in, and recite them all for you."

"Okay." Kangnam grinned again. The grin turned into a grimace for him when the waiter came with our plates of food; he probably saw mine. When the waiter left, he said, "You're seriously only going to eat toast, and order nothing else?"

"I'm good," I answered him. He started glaring at me this time around. "I'm really okay, I'm not that hungry."

He started pouring maple syrup over his pancakes as he replied, "Eat some of my pancakes. I know you're broke."

I guffawed. "I'm not broke!"  
"Then why aren't you ordering more food?" Kangnam pointed at my plate of three pieces of toast with a fork.

"I said I'm not hungry." I answered back, with a more annoyed tone. Kangnam turned serious. "You'll get gastric. At least you should eat more." He held up one of his pancakes with his plastic fork and knife, placing it on the side of my plate. Gee, thanks. Holding up another pancake and putting it on my plate, he said, "There. Now we both have two. Equal."

"You still have your bacon and eggs," I pointed out. "And toast."

"I'm giving you my bacon and eggs. I'll have all of the toast instead." Kangnam said, cutting a pancake. I quickly held up my plate to my shoulder and squirmed. "No way you're getting my toast."

"Fine, I'll eat my own!" Kangnam chirped in, laughing. He loved food, I could tell, from his pet names to his orders - too much. I smiled back at him, but turned away when he looked me right in the eye, without knowing it. Great, my shyness was showing.

It was about 9 a.m when we got out of the cafe, and actually started wandering around the mall - it looked generic with celebrity ads promoting shops' products and expensive items that no one could possibly afford. Kangnam wanted to go inside a shop that sold party supplies and useless stuff. I didn't question it, I followed him.

"I love the figurines in here." He said to me, as I walked with him side by side. We headed to the figurine section of the store. Kangnam gazed upon them, seeing through the glass of the display cases, looking like a little kid at a toy store. "Which one d'you like?" I folded my arms. He pointed to a Donald Duck figure. "This one."

"Oh, really?" I commented, "You like Donald Duck, huh?" "I know how to imitate his voice." Kangnam glanced at me. I didn't believe it, until when we came out of the store, he started to. "See, I can." He remarked.

We ambled in the mall. There wasn't much for us to see. "What are your hobbies?" I tried to put my hand on his shoulder, but pulled back the last moment when he faced me. "I like.. Hm, let me think." He pondered for a while. "I like making collages."

"Ah," I gave him a broad smile. "That's nice." Kangnam's grin twinkled, his eyes did too, as he walked in closer to me by the side. "This won't go anywhere if we don't do anything else than talk." said Kangnam truthfully, his grin now faded away. He was glaring at the ground while we walked.

I took a sharp intake of breath as I tried controlling my hands. It was shaking, but I needed to do it. My fingertips brushed his hand. He noticed. I slipped, and wrapped around my fingers into his. He didn't take a peek at our hands. Kangnam tightened his fingers around my hand, his grip, and that's when I knew.

My palm was damp this time round; his was shivering cold. I saw him beam into the distance, he never hid it, he never tried to. His fingers never left mine; and there was this feeling in my heart. It seemed like it hid all this while - I didn't feel it for a long period of time. It spread, from my chest and my heart, towards my arms, my shoulders, and to the back of my knees. It made myself weak, and it was only from the effect of us holding hands. He knew how to hold hands well.

We made small talk along the way, and decided that we would go back home first. I saw how he would grip onto my palm tensely when he answered me back. He only left my fingers alone when we got back to his apartment. Our palms were then stuck onto each other when his tried to leave. The departure was inevitable, but my fingers didn't want to leave. It was strange.

"You have nice hands." I said to him when he barged into his own house. "Nicest." I corrected myself. It flushed his face pink, and it was adorable. It made me want to compliment him all the time, just to see him blush.

"Promise me you'll leave butterflies in my stomach until I can't take it anymore." stated Kangnam.

I smiled so much. I smiled so, so much.

We changed into more drearier-looking clothes, and we laid on the bed, with our arms wide open. He was near me, beside me. I could hear the sound of him breathing in and out, and when I stared at him, his eyes were closed shut. "If you don't mind, I'd like to take a nap first," He announced. He opened his eyes when he continued, "But you don't have to leave. Stay with me."

I finally spoke. "Yes. I mean, of course."  
Kangnam slid up, so that his head was on the pillow; he was now facing me again. I wanted to bury my head into the pillow when I stared into his eyes. I writhed around, trying to find the perfect position, and so much that it made Kangnam chuckle.

He moved in closer, placing himself below my neck. I curled my fingers around a shoulder of his, and felt how he exhaled deeply. He hid a side of his face, by leaning it on my chest.

How I wanted to kiss him, I really did.

But it just wasn't time yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**[Hangil]**

It was pouring when I woke up, and it was in the late evening. Kangnam had woken up first like always. My head was throbbing and I felt sour - I didn't nap very well.

"God," I murmured, massaging my forehead with the bottom of my palm. "I shouldn't have slept."

I lifted up the covers to sit up on a side of the bed. I could hear faint sounds of the TV in the living room, but when I glanced over at the open door, no one was there on the couch. No scents of Mac 'N' Cheese, noodles or soup coming from the kitchen either.

"Well, he must be showering then." I spoke, and went for the door. I stopped in my tracks when I saw something that caught my eye on his table. Well, a lot of things, in fact. I couldn't fully make out what they were for, 'till I approached them closer.

There were a lot of letters, gifts and tons of paper roses that were laying down on the table. I hadn't thought of anything much else, other than it was from his family, but then I felt my heart skip a beat.

'To: Kangnam hyung! Happy Birthday!' was scribbled on an envelope filled with a letter. I hastily scanned over the envelopes, and presents, and it was indeed true that it was the 23rd of March. I couldn't have forgotten about it. He told me once before. I put it on my phone calendar, I said I wouldn't forget it to myself when he first said that. I remembered, I remembered all this while, until now, today, yesterday. It all made sense how Kangnam pouted rather angrily this morning when we left the store, when we left empty-handed, and how he hinted that he wanted something while we were window shopping, like he knew I forgot that it was his big day.

Why didn't I remember? In fact, why couldn't I remember? My memory was horrible.

I looked at my wrists. I had two bracelets on my right, but giving someone something that they've already seen on the giver would be insincere and indolent. I bit on my lip, and started walking around in circles, thinking of what to give him.

I thought of necklaces next. I couldn't give the precious golden one that my mom did, but I knew I had at least one more back at Jongsu's. It had a small, shiny heart. It would look great on him. It would be perfect on him; it was, but going back to get it was another thing.

I was scowling when I stepped out of the room, and I stood in front of the TV. I turned around when I heard a sudden startling thud of the bathroom door opening, and saw Kangnam with a menacing look on his face, drying his hair with a towel. His eyes softened when he noticed me.

"Good evening."

"Evening." I replied.  
He threw back the towel on his shoulder and held out a hand forward. His palm was facing the ground, it looked like he wanted me to give him something.

"I'm not going to give it to you just yet," I answered. I could sense that my tone was what made Kangnam lift a brow. He smirked. "So, it's not that you've forgotten about it, huh?"

As he grabbed a comb, I grinned at him. "No, but it's going to be the best gift you'll ever get."

He turned to his left, now ignoring my sight, as he starts to untangle his hair. "You still hadn't gotten it yet, right?"

He'd be a good lie detector. No machines would be needed.  
Steady as a rock, I said, "I have, trust me."  
"Mm hm," He hummed, showing one of his indistinctive half-sided smiles. "How about you give it to me now?"

"No," I shook my head, the grin still on my face. I chortled wholeheartedly when Kangnam glared at me, squinting with his eyebrows crossed. "Hey, it doesn't mean I'll never give you the present."

"Everyone that I know has at least already given me a letter or something ordinary, even like a toaster! I had a toaster! Someone seriously gave me a toaster!" Kangnam snapped hilariously.

"The toaster's of poor quality, right?" I tried to question with in between laughter. "It was a very cheap toaster," Kangnam rolled his eyes. "The person knocked on my door while you were sleeping and gave it to me. It started rattling before I even tried it out."

"I'm putting it on my list of 'Presents not to give Kangnam next year'." I nodded, pretending to write it down on a imaginary notepad.

"But at least he remembered my birthday," He shot me a look, side-eyeing me. I tried with all my might to convince him. "Come on! I did. Look, I'll give it to you later, okay? Okay?"

"Eh." Kangnam uttered, ending with a mocking smile, then he walking away. That was all he said, and I didn't know how to react about it.

 

**[Kangnam]**

He must have seen the letters on the table and remembered. I knew he couldn't remember! Though he hid it so well.

I went back to my room, the same time the front door shut. Curious, I walked back to the living room. There was no one there. I checked all of the other rooms as well, but there was no Hangil in sight. Well, Hangil must have gone somewhere. He took the keys and one of my two umbrellas. Presumably, he went off to buy a present for me. It still wasn't too late. I could forgive him later if he bought me something special.

I sat down on the usual old chair back in my room, shuffling the dozens of letters I received in my mailbox. There was one from sis, Giseok and Jongsu, mom. All the others were from friends. There were more cards than presents, just like every year. I laughed about it all the time. I started unwrapping the presents first, which were hung on the handle of my mailbox, silly enough.

There were six, small light boxes filled with food and other assorted useless things, all from my old friends whom I've pretty much sadly forgotten. They were the ones who messaged me yesterday, about going out for a celebration outside, but I refused it and asked them to send the gifts over instead. I gave them a petty excuse of how I was busy, despite even on my own birthday, and on a Sunday. And it was all because of Hangil that I wanted to stay at home. It was a hard decision, but I didn't regret it. Would've been pretty awkward, and I'm pretty sure I remembered that one was a backstabber.

I slid the boxes aside, and started digging for Giseok and Jongsu's letter to read first. 'KANGNAM - Giseok, Jongsu' was what was only written on the envelope. It looked like a great letter already, really.

I opened it up, and peered at the card. It had a dog with a birthday hat on, prancing around. The text was in Comic Sans. "'We heard the old neighborhood dog is celebrating a special day,'" I read out aloud.

I flipped to the next page. Now, the printed text was in Papyrus. 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' it said. I glared down the next words. '- Jongsu and Giseok:)' were lastly written down in blue ink. The left page was blank, empty. I had never felt so much anger from a card.

The other letters and cards I've read were much better. The one sent from Mom back at Japan was the one I really wanted to tear up from. After reading it, I was missing my family, I was missing Japan. I wanted to get back there, but I knew I couldn't, after all, I was in this condition of being terribly broke and dirt poor. "Thanks mom," I whispered. "I'll come back someday."

Hangil wasn't even back yet when I finished reading all of the letters. The clock was about to strike eleven. What was taking him so long?

My shoulders were aching, so I laid back on my chair, shutting my eyes for a few seconds before staring off into the distance. I took out my phone and started messaging Hangil soon after.

'Where are you right now?' I sent the text.

A few seconds later, he replied.  
'On my way back. Get ready for a surprise.'

I sneered. All it could be was a cake. He probably spent the other few hours meeting up with his own friends... right?

Okay, I hoped that he didn't.

Minutes later, the sound of the front door unlocking could be heard. I dashed out of my room, and to the living room where I waited impatiently with folded arms. I was about to question what took him so long and act up, but my jaw dropped when I saw him carry a plump cream paper gift bag, and a cake box on one hand, the other holding a wet, open umbrella. He was also wearing a sling bag that I've never seen before.

"I told you, you would be surprised." said Hangil, handing me over the gift bag and letting the umbrella dry up by putting it on the floor. I took a peek at what was inside immediately - there was a card, a pen, a sweater, and.. the Donald Duck figurine.

"What?" I looked up at him and repeated myself. "What?"

Hangil was all smug. "I have yet to give you something else, but that's for later. Have some cake first." He spoke as he placed the cake box on the table. I wanted to ask why he got me so much presents, but he was already stepping in my room to place his sling bag down. When he walked back here, I started to inquire.

"Why in the world did you buy all of these for me?" I lifted up the gift bag. "I figured out that you'd need much more than letters and food," He explained. "I didn't even buy that sweater." He pointed to the bag. "I went back to Jongsu's to bring back some things, and saw that striped sweater in my closet. Thought it'd look better on you, so here you go." Hangil simpered. I turned speechless.

"Oh. But.. what's the pen for, anyway?" I questioned him. He gave a sheepish grin. "For the card. I wanted to write something on it, and I didn't have a pen, so I bought one just to write that."

"Well.. thank you. So much," I beamed sincerely. I saw him blush, his hand messing up his own hair, but he hid it from me as he glanced down and said, "Let's eat the cake."

We finished the cake in less than 10 minutes. It was a fruitcake, so it tasted okay. When I devoured my last slice of fruitcake, Hangil popped a blueberry in his mouth and said, "Now for the grand finale,"

I put my hands on my lap and bent my elbows. He pulled out a blue velveteen necklace box. My eyes grew big. "You didn't buy that, didn't you?" I asked him, astonished.

"I didn't, but it's very special to me." Hangil glimpsed at the box. "I wanted to give it to my girlfriend in high school. She dumped me after I caught her seeing another guy," He continued, eyes saddening, "I kept it ever since. I loved her so much, I saved up so much everyday to buy it for her."

"I see." I nodded my head. I wish I never stopped staring at him, 'cause when I did, he laughed, and it broke my heart. "I was that stupid." Grinning, he said, his eyes glittering.

"C'mon, you weren't." I remarked, caressing his back with my hand. "She was. She was the one who was stupid. Who could break up with you? You're loyal as hell."

It made Hangil smile and nod, so I continued. "You're seriously great. I love your bliss. You're filled with rapture!" I overreacted, my hands up in the air. Hangil bobbed his head continuously, sprouting a wider smile every time.

"Thanks. You're great, too." Hangil responded. I grinned in return, although I had to give in something back other than words.

After that happened, I asked him if he wanted to join me in for an all-nighter, except that we would stay up all night watching TV, playing board games and experimenting in the kitchen. "Sure, it is your birthday anyway." answered Hangil.

And so, we didn't even care if we had to wake up early the next day for work. TV was boring, Monopoly was as well (when you're half-asleep), and we made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make a smoothie. Hours passed smoothly, and soon it was 3 in the morning.

"Not gonna sleep tonight. Not gonna sleep." A drowsy Hangil yawned. We were laying side by side on the floor of the living room, Monopoly money and pieces all over the place.

"We shouldn't be laying down. What if we accidentally sleep?" I attempted to widen my eyes to stop myself from sleeping. "Right," Hangil stood up on his feet in a matter of time, and started jumping up on the spot. "Exercising is good for you."

I did jumping jacks. It was like physical education in school all over again, except this time, the both of us were sleepier than ever.

"Ohh," Hangil groaned as he stopped jumping. "I think we should stop. I think we should go sleep now."

"Sleep is for the weak," I stared at him without stopping myself from doing jumping jacks. "Our catchphrase, remember?"

"It is, but I'm so tired right now." He groaned again. I gazed at him. Well, I wouldn't want him to get to work half-awake, anyway. "Fine. Let's go sleep." We had our arms over our shoulders while we walked our way to bed. All of a sudden, I realized I had forgotten to do something.

"Wait," I said. We stopped walking, and I turned to face Hangil. "This is for you."

I tip-toed slightly on my feet, and closed my eyes as I leaned closer to him, brushing my lips against his. And before I closed my eyes, I saw a slightly surprised Hangil. Our first kiss.

I didn't know what he was thinking when he gave me his own sweater and necklace. They were beautiful, and if I had them, I would've kept it all to myself, and never have given them to anyone else. Actually, no, all of them. All of the presents he gave me. He should have gave it all to himself. He was truly out of his mind, even if the other presents were inexpensive. But I swear that I'll cherish his gifts for eternity.


	8. Chapter 8

**[Kangnam]**

 

I couldn't wait no longer. I had to do it. I had to man myself up, say to that muscular guy beside me, that I liked him. I liked him more than how I did already. I couldn't not do it - 'cause, gosh..

I wanted him. There was nobody like him, completely no one that could even be him. And it's crazy; it looked like we were actually together, but we weren't. Just plain, good old friends that were once strangers.

I gulped. I was walking the road back home with Hangil, after the bus ride we just had. Hangil looked really, terribly tired and exhausted. He was staring at the ground while he walked, paying no attention to his surroundings.

'Should I do it?' I thought to myself. The other side of me spoke, 'At a time like this? You're better off with him as a friend if you decide to.', and I was feeling very undecided of myself.

He glanced up, and turned his head around to face me. I hadn't noticed that I had been continuously staring at his side profile a few moments ago, and still counting. He gave me a modest smile before glaring back down. I didn't even had the time to react.

He wasn't talking that much today. To take things off his mind, I slipped my arm into the space his left, and locked our arms together. It startled Hangil at first, his eyes brightening up when he saw it happen, but still he exhaled noisily with a pleasant grin. Now, I guess, I had to say it, confess to him and all. It should be easy.

I started off with a sigh that made him notice. But when he looked at me with those crazy eyes, I lost it. I lost all of my confidence yet again.

"Is there something you'd like to say to me?" He questioned, tugging me with his shoulder.

It took me some time to answer. "Actually, yes," I managed to squeak out.  
He raised an eyebrow. "Tell me." He uttered, and I sensed curiosity in him.

I took glimpses of the place around us to see if there was anyone. None. I heaved a deeper sigh yet once again. Alright.

"This might be cheesy, and unexpected at this time, but, Hangil.."

 

"I.." I started to hesitate.  
He nodded at the word; his eyebrows were now raised.

I repeated, staring intensely at him, "I..", and he nodded yet again, this time impatiently.

"I.. really like your little flower hat. Where did you get it?" was all I blurted out.

What?

"Oh.. that lil' hat?" answered Hangil, whom I saw the light dimming in his eyes, "I bought a lot of hats like that earlier this year. They're really cheap. Maybe I'll bring you there sometime."

"That.. that wasn't what I had intended to say." I admitted sheepishly. Hangil's eyes drifted away, but came back when I placed a hand under his chin. I cleared my throat, continuing, "What I meant to say was that.."

How could I put what I needed and wanted to say into words? I couldn't, but I also couldn't leave Hangil standing there for too long.

"..You're so lovable." I nervously touched the back of my neck. "You look great on everything. Be it, super girly hats that even my mom wouldn't wear, plain tees, old jeans. The only thing I'd love to see on you more now, one that you've almost never worn before, is your heart on your sleeve. I might be a bit arrogant like this, but, I get really mixed signals whether you're liking me or not. At times, I feel like you're competing to be my partner, and other times, I feel like you're treating me like a best friend instead.

"Let me ask you a simple question. Do you still feel the same way? If you still do, and you still do like me, I'm all ready. I'm all set for the both of us, if you're willing to. Right now."

I left my hand back on his shoulder instead. "Are you afraid that I might not like you as much as you like me?"

Hangil stood there still speechless. I let my tongue run over my chapped bottom lip as he finally replied, "Did I really confuse you? I'm sorry if I did."

"Yes," I clutched both of his hands with mine. "I really appreciate how you gave me your cherished items, and yesterday, how we napped in the afternoon, the night as well." I continued, "You put your arm around my shoulder while we slept in the night, we kissed and you never said anything, but you had to ball it all up and crush it along with that fight we had days ago."

"Kangnam," Hangil sighed, massaging his temples. "We never had that kiss last night that you mentioned in the morning. And if you are remembering that time you thought we fought again, it didn't happen."

What was he talking about?  
"No. It did happen. What are you even saying?" I asked him.

"The thoughts of me confusing you, sending you mixed signals.. are all parts of your dreams. You're over thinking about it." Hangil explained.

"I don't get you."

"Kangnam, it's true. That time we 'fought' outside that restaurant; you were dreaming that the whole time. You mixed it up with reality. I had to wake you up 'cause you seemed like you were having a nightmare. You started tearing up when you awoke. I pulled you in for a hug, I left you a kiss on the forehead. Remember now, that the fight never happened?"

I couldn't remember. It was stressing me out, thinking about how it could be a dream instead of reality.

"And that kiss? We didn't have it. We didn't stay up all night doing exercises like what you said. We went straight to sleep after eating the cake. I don't think I ever gave you mixed signals at all." Hangil gave me a worried look.

It wasn't possible; I could remember things correctly, I swear I could. Mixing up reality and dreams wasn't what I commonly did.. right?

"Believe in me, Kangnam. I'm getting so paranoid just thinking about you like this." He grabbed both my shoulders. "If those were dreams, then are we in a dream right now?" I inquired him, unsure. What was happening to me if that was true? Is this actually just a dream of mine instead?

"No, no," Hangil shook his head several times. "No, Kangnam," He stared into my eyes deeply. "This is reality. This is reality, instead."

I struggled to forcefully push down his arms that were on my shoulders, but he couldn't move an inch. "Then what would the real Hangil know?"

He exhaled out strongly as he muttered, "The real Hangil wouldn't confront you. The real Hangil wouldn't stop you. The real Hangil would listen to you. That other Hangil does not know you. He's a stranger, the one that you put all your bad thoughts into. That's the other Hangil."

I didn't believe him at first, but then it all came together when I replayed what he had said. It struck me. It was reality and he was the true Hangil.  
Disbelieving him was not the clear choice when I compared the differences.

"Well..I..I'm sorry for that." Stumbling over some of the words, I felt even more insecure.  
Hangil's body softened, and his face relaxed. "It's fine. Just believe in me."

The next few moments were all in silence until I said, "Still, I just really want you to know that, I'd like us to be together." I continued hesitating again, as Hangil slid his hands back down to his side. "Will you still hear me out?"

Hangil gave a slight nod.

I was too fearful to hold his hands once more.  
Sprouting the words from my mouth, I admitted out, "I hope you still are willing to accept me. Ever since day one, I've considered you heavily in my heart. As cliché as it can get, as corny as it can be, I really like you. I love you. Even though that's not a really strong word anymore, I love you. I love you. So much that I don't ever want you to leave me. So please don't. I'm afraid of being alone. Stay with me forever. Don't go back to Jongsu. Stay with me." I emphasized on the last three words I spoke. My voice was cracking, so I had to stop. Hangil blinked slowly.

"Kangnam," Hangil let out a grin, his eyes glittering, "Of course I will. This is reality." He grasped tightly onto my hands, touching the small cuts I had, so much that when his left, red marks could be seen on my hands from it.

He leaned in closer to me, pulling me towards him. The both of us closed our eyes, and soon our lips touched, but Hangil was the one who kissed first. I held him closer as I wrapped my arms around him, I felt how his breath tightened when I did. The small, gentle kiss was more than perfectly enough. We both pulled back at the right moment, and then he spoke of the words I will never, ever forget.

"I'll give you one of my silly hats if you'd like." He smirked.

We were official.


	9. Chapter 9

**[Hangil]**

Kangnam was horrible with managing the house. There would be piles and piles of unwashed laundry, opened boxes of cookies lying out in the open, misplaced items on the table; and yet there he'd be, on his old couch with a can of soda, staring at the TV screen. Jongsu would do better than that.

On a weekend like this, it would be typical to see his head laid down on the pleated arm of the couch, and on the other end, his legs put up. And also, the laundry. I was sitting on one of the chairs beside the dining table when he yelled out, "Hangil, where are you?".

"I'm just behind you," I uttered back, looking at my phone.

Kangnam turned himself to face me as he replied, "Oh. Hey, could we go somewhere else? It's just so boring here."

Without looking up, I said, "You can go."  
"I said 'we', you know." His tone dropped.

This time I glanced up at him.  
"I don't want to, sorry."

He groaned. "But there's nothing to do in here! Please?"  
I stared back at my phone in silence after he spoke.

Kangnam stood up and stomped his foot continuously. "If you don't, I won't stop." He said.

I grinned at him as he started to struggle more and more. "You will, so stop wasting your energy."  
Kangnam grimaced humorously. "I shouldn't have let you stay with me. The freedom I had alone was great! I could go anywhere, anytime."

I cringed. "Uh. You'd miss out on a lot if I wasn't here with you."

Kangnam's grimace faded. He sighed, turning to a side. "I'll go live with Jongsu and Giseok, then. They seem less duller than you."  
The lighthearted tone of his made his words hard to believe. "Nah. I should be the one." I corrected him.

He tilted his head, and brushed his hair back with his fingers. "No more back massaging for you!"  
I nodded my head with my eyes closed.

"No more.. sharing the same bed with me!"  
I nodded again.

Kangnam lowered his gaze. "Oh, man.. I just want a good chase from you, that's all."  
"So, now you're serious?" I placed my phone down as I raised an eyebrow at him, along with a half-smile. I saw him start to grin back, but he stopped at the last moment he caught himself.

"Smile," I said, as I got up to stand infront of him. His eyes grew wider, as I placed a hand on his left profile. As we leaned in closer, Kangnam's eyes shut and all, I yanked back from him. Kangnam opened his eyes immediately after, a confused look on his face. "Hey.. what?" He mumbled.

He grabbed me by the shoulder when I began to walk away. I turned around as he said, "Continue what you were doing just now."  
I let out a snicker. Jokingly, I replied, "No, 'till you learn to live by my rules."

"Huh," Kangnam blurted out as he folded his arms.  
"Ah, I mean.." I said, touching my neck. He couldn't make it out that it wasn't serious. "I'm gonna be shacking up with you for quite some time.."

Kangnam squinted his eyes. "Hangil, what kind of relationship do you want us to have?"

I stared at him sternly. I let a few moments of silence sneak in before I answered him.  
"I.. I just want us to have one." I started, speaking honestly. "I mean, just like a go-with-the-flow type of relationship."

"Well, good." He said, patting my back. "'Cause, I don't think I could ever control you over." And I remembered that a sly grin appeared on his face after.

 

But that was in the past. We've managed to stay sane together for about almost a month, now that I think about it. I never said anything about him not doing housework after we made a clear deal. "You do the housework, I'll make the food." He said, and that was the end of that.

Our relationship was going by swimmingly as well; he could kiss great. There were slight miscommunications, but we sorted them out in no time. Although, really, his presence to me was all I needed. He started going to the gym again, after he swore to me that he would get bigger arm muscles than me. On a particular Sunday, I remembered him coming back home with a sweat-soaked t-shirt, him rolling up his short sleeves, showing off to me his solid muscles that I apparently had failed to notice for quite some time. I never underestimated him ever again after that day.

He disliked showing them off, though. Once, while he was changing in the bedroom, I asked him why he'd never go out sleeveless. He answered that it was uncomfortable. And there went all my hopes of seeing him in a wife-beater. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't force him into any sleeveless shirts. I was carefully taking notes of what he disliked, and liked. Who knew he had a thing for marbles? We were both cooperative, too. At times when my back ached, I'd yell for him, and he'd come running to me from behind, shouting the words, "Get ready!" as he'd start karate-chopping. And at times when he needed someone to cuddle with, I'd always be there, on the couch with him. It was as simple as that.

He even made me love the rain. I remember sitting on a bench, waiting for him to get off work, 'till it started pouring all of a sudden. I cursed at the skies while I ran for shelter, with almost numb legs, and both hands soothing my arms. I was depressingly soaked in rain water then. A tap on the back was felt soon enough, and when I turned to look, it was Kangnam, with an umbrella in his hand. He was simpering as he said, "I only have one."  
I glanced over at the ground, and it was pretty much flooding. I felt stressed out and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, so I said okay, and placed my hand on top of his, on the handle. It didn't go very well with us trying to fight against the wind and rain. The both of us were tumbling around and about, holding on to our dear lives as it seemed like, trying to keep our balance. Kangnam gave me more cover while we walked. And, it was cold. Freezing cold, as we walked on a silent path, with only blue lights guiding us the way. Nothing really spectacular happened, but it made me form something with the rain. Perhaps it was just because of Kangnam. Pretty strange nonetheless.

I've counted the number of times we held our hands, hugged, but never the moments where the both of us kissed. I've tried keeping track of it several times, but would always forget the numbers after we finished. The both of us kissed too much. We made out a lot. It's wholly Kangnam's fault on this one. But, I don't blame him. I never mind him when he does. I guess we both know we really, really enjoyed ourselves. I always felt guilty when he had to go to work with scorching red marks on the sides of his neck; though he never once complained about them.

And.. honestly speaking, I actually crushed all of the numbers into the bin a few days ago. 'Figured out that it would be better without them. The numbers were pretty useless when I thought about it. Was it even worth bragging about? Would anybody even be interested in them? The more I pondered, the more I cringed.

There was actually a lot more that happened, but the more I try to remember, the more fuzzy the memories get.  
Let's just say that there was a lot of intense eye contact and smooching for the past few days. Flowers were, sadly, not involved.

I soon realized that I've been daydreaming on the couch. I scanned around for Kangnam, curious as to why he hasn't called me yet for cuddling. He wasn't in the living room, no - so I picked myself up and went to his room, the door open. I poked my head into the room. Kangnam was just sleeping again. He doesn't make any noises when he sleeps; it would be kind of impossible to figure out where he would be.

His iPhone was vibrating vigorously on top of the drawer beside him. I felt some sort of tension building up inside me. I started to walk to the drawer to peek at his phone. What was it that would be so incredibly important to Kangnam?

I tilted my head to read what was on the screen, but it was too vague for me to figure it out. I picked up his phone, however it was then that I started to hesitate every moment I did. I had to place his phone back down.

Shaking him up, I uttered, "Kangnam, wake up. Check your phone and see what it says. It's been vibrating like crazy." He began to awake, rubbing his drowsy eyes. "Wha..? What?" He muttered, picking his phone up and glaring at the screen. I saw him unlock his phone and him guffaw a few seconds later, scrolling down hastily.

Holding back a giggle, he remarked, handing over his phone to me, "Jongsu and Giseok. Sleepover party, remember?"

"Oh," I said. Soon I was bursting into laughter. Giseok and Jongsu were mass spamming him with hordes of angry messages about us and how we're apparently late for the sleepover we all agreed to go, believe it or not. Actually, forced to go. Jongsu had complained about how he hadn't seen me for weeks. He demanded us to have a sleepover, or a meet-up at least, together. He wouldn't stop sending me messages about it for the past few days, and before I went crazy, I decided to. Not one of my wisest decisions I ever made. And also on impulse.

"I guess we'd better go now," spoke of Kangnam, as he sat up. "Or, no?"  
"No," I replied, grinning and handing back his phone to him. "Not yet."

He asked as he landed back on his bed, "You sure you really want to do this? We could just sleep and forget about them."  
"Yeah, we'll sleep over it." I said.

Kangnam laughed, tossing himself over. Vibrations could still be heard from his phone yet again. Jongsu and Giseok weren't going to give up anytime soon.

"Why is that they keep bothering me instead? Don't they have your number?" He questioned.

I sat back down on the bed. "Blocked them."  
He didn't say anything. Kangnam held up his phone and switched it off.

Just as I was about to speak, our doorbell rang. We both looked at each other with slight confusion.

"Is it them?" Kangnam inquired.  
"I hope not," I stood up and went for the door, with Kangnam following behind.

When I opened the door, Kangnam groaned. I sighed when I saw Jongsu and Giseok in their pajamas, carrying pillows and toothbrushes.  
"Surprise!" Jongsu shrieked. Giseok fiddled with his nightcap as he said, "You didn't answer us, so we figured we'd come here instead."

"We were just about to go," Kangnam nudged me with his elbow. "Right, Hangil?"  
"Yeah." I gave them a slight nod.

"Pft. Liars," said Jongsu, as they barged into the house.  
I glanced over at Kangnam. He shrugged.

"Nice place you've got here," Jongsu commented, turning every few seconds to check the furniture.

Kangnam placed his arm around my shoulder as I spoke with folded arms, "Could all of you just leave? Right now?"  
"No," Jongsu replied, Giseok and him mimicking our positions as they turned to face us. "Come on, Hangil. It's our first time meeting each other since, like, weeks ago."

"We need privacy." said Kangnam. Jongsu whined, "But you all promised to have a sleepover today! Isn't that right, Gi?"  
"Yes." Giseok mumbled as Jongsu twiddled with his nightcap.

I frowned. "You guys can only sleep on the floor."  
"Fine then." said Jongsu, as the both of them sat down on the couch.

Kangnam grabbed my waist. "No making out today." He muttered to me.  
"Ah, well, we still have the bed." I whispered back to him.  
He smirked. "I doubt that'll happen tonight."

"Have any chips?" shouted Jongsu. Him and Giseok were busy watching television.  
"No, lots of Kit-Kats and cookies, though." answered Kangnam, walking back to his own room.

Giseok stood up. "Hangil, show us where the snacks are." He said, standing up and striding towards me. "Get the cookies and potato chips, Gi. I know they have some in here," Jongsu said, still on the couch.

I headed for the kitchen. As I opened one of the kitchen cabinets, Giseok murmured, "How's life here?"  
I took some boxes of cookies before I replied, "Pretty good. How're you doing at Jongsu's?"

Giseok shook his head. I closed the cabinet and handed him the boxes. "You and Jongsu are now a thing, right?"  
"Um," He grabbed the boxes and bit his lip. "Kind of. We haven't kissed yet, though."

I closed the cabinet before we went back to the living room. Kangnam was standing in front of the TV; Giseok sat back down the couch, opening a box, along with Jongsu, whom was opening another at the same time.

I sat on the floor, beside the couch. When Kangnam saw me, he proceeded to sit alongside me as well, placing his head on my shoulder.  
"Oh, dear god, this drama is horrible." exclaimed Jongsu as he reached for the remote control.  
I looked at Kangnam. "The left side of my back hurts." Kangnam manages to soothe the ache I had with rubbing this time.

"Cuddle. Now." He commanded in a light tone. I wrapped both of my arms around him immediately, him nuzzling the side of my face.  
"This is better!" belted Jongsu as he switches the channels to cartoons. The both of them started munching horrendously on the cookies shortly - I'll probably have one heck of a time cleaning the couch up.

"Can't we go to sleep right now? It's already one a.m," Kangnam asked, still nuzzling.  
I pecked him on the cheek. "Let the kids do what they want first."

"This is a really boring sleepover," Jongsu commented, already scoffing down half of the cookies in the box. "At least we have TV, though. Man, I'm not hungry anymore. Gi, have the rest of these."

Kangnam was already dozing off when I peeked a glance at him. Okay, I guess it was pretty late. I guess it was. Though one in the morning would be a bit early in Kangnam's case.

"Did you see that guy that got hit on the head with a coconut?" asked Giseok.

"Wasn't that in Spongebob?"  
"It was?"

"I think so. Two coconuts now? Aw, it's definitely in Spongebob." "No, Patrick was the one watching that..."

 

"Wake up!"

I opened my eyes slowly, and tried to focus on who was calling me up drowsily. Jongsu and Giseok were standing in front of me. It was almost pitch dark; the TV was switched off. I looked to the other side and saw Kangnam, whom the other two were still struggling to awake.

"WAKE UP!" Jongsu yelled, shaking Kangnam forcefully.  
"Ye.. Yeah, what?.." the half-asleep Kangnam mumbled.

"It's two." said Giseok, hugging onto his pillow.  
"What are we going to do now?" Jongsu asked excitedly.

I rubbed my back. "Have you thrown out the boxes and all that yet?"  
"Yup. We're good guests." Jongsu proudly remarked.  
"Right," I uttered. "What else can we do, other than sleep right now? Aren't you guys sleepy at all?"

"No!" Jongsu smiled. "..Maybe a bit." He relaxed his face.  
I sighed. "Go sleep then."

"I'm tired, Jongsu." Giseok added, tugging on Jongsu by his sleeve.  
Rolling his eyes, Jongsu said, "Okay, Gi, fine. I'll go brush my teeth first."

Kangnam grabbed onto my hand as the both of us stood up; we then headed back to bed, but I soon realized Giseok was following us instead of following Jongsu.

"Yes, Giseok?" I said. Kangnam did not bother to stop, as he was now in bed.

"Could we talk in the living room? I'd rather not disturb Kangnam." Giseok said, craning his neck forward to take a look.  
"Sure." I walked back out.

"You look pretty trustworthy. I hope you don't mind me asking you this, but," Giseok hesitated. "How do you get someone to fall in love with you?"

"Well, there's really no reason how. I know you like Jongsu, right?" I continued, Giseok attentively listening, "Just mean what you say, drop some hints. I'm sure he feels the same way as you."

"I.. don't think he does?" Giseok tilted his head.  
"He's probably hiding his feelings away from you." I said. "Is there anything that he's done that made you second-guess how he likes you?"

"Hm." Giseok pondered. "I like the nickname he gave me. And.. one time, he got me flowers. Roses, probably. So, yeah."

"Kangnam and I are suckers for flowers. We never give each other them, though. They're much too expensive nowadays." I smirked. "You're lucky. There's a possibility that he likes you."

"Geez, I never thought of that before. Thanks, you're great." Giseok grinned back at me. It was the first time I'd ever seen him smile.  
"Could I have your number? I personally did not want to bother Jongsu and Kangnam about it. And it's way more polite to ask you instead." He asked. I gladly agreed, and we exchanged numbers.

Jongsu was walking back to the room then, so I went back to the bedroom, shut the door, and fell flat on the bed; Kangnam sleeping silently.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I held it up; it was a message from Giseok. I grinned when I read it. 'Thanks again. Will update you on how me and Jongsu's going. :)', it said.

I glanced back at Kangnam. He was right when he said he slept like an angel.


	10. Chapter 10

**[*]**

 

A year passed. 

Kangnam never knew how they survived; it was only soon that everyday grew much more tiring. For all he knew, Hangil endured through all of the trouble Kangnam brought up, one of the times forgetting to pay the bills on time, which caused Hangil to panic thoroughly. 

And it was as if Hangil was Kangnam's savior, with him always putting back the rented apartment together by fixing leaks and such, him arranging the little teacups neatly, him offering to dry their clothes in the dryer instead, and all of the other things he did, all swept Kangnam off his feet.

Kangnam seemed grateful with him around, but that was just an added bonus. He had him around all the while for other reasons as well - obviously one of which that Hangil was utterly obsessed with Kangnam himself, and it never died out. 

Hangil scrimped and saved for tickets to Tokyo, and just about everything else. He tried his best to work tirelessly despite his efforts being shunned, often receiving scoldings in return instead. Kangnam, on the other hand, was promoted to being a server. Though not much of a rank, and his pay hadn't increased a lot higher either, he indulged in the excitement in being able to do more. 

Jongsu followed a promotion as well, now a counter server. His partner, Giseok, never told about his mysterious career to anyone, and it triggered something in Jongsu to know more about him, for Giseok to open up, and for Jongsu himself to relish in his curiosity about Giseok. They succeeded. 

Smooching finally came to an end when Hangil and Kangnam both found themselves all simply too worn out to do it frequently, the two of them growing more restless and frighteningly, dissatisfied. The both of them knew it was time they had to do something about where they were, and had.

It was a rainy Monday night, about a week after the heated discussion they had together concerning their contentment. Hangil, with plenty of blankets, was crashing on the couch; the TV turned on and the lights all shut off. Kangnam hadn't returned from work yet, and had earlier alerted Hangil with a text that he should not wait for him. 

And it was twelve in the morning, an unusual timing for Kangnam to not return back home. Normally Hangil and Kangnam would return together, precisely at ten. 

Soon the sounds of keys being fiddled around with shook Hangil a bit, subconsciously, the unlocking of the door alerting him better as he awoke slowly, stretching himself after. 

He fixed his gaze towards the opened door, the similar figure catching his attention. Kangnam grinned tiredly at his younger partner, his water bottle tightly held on one hand. 

Hangil shuffled back into the couch as Kangnam lifted off one of his shoes, Hangil feeling a little dissatisfied that Kangnam came back late. 

Kangnam frowned at the sight of Hangil not greeting him, or questioning how his day went.   
"Sorry I kept you waiting," Kangnam crooned as he locked and shut the door."I had to do something." 

Hangil nodded, humming softly. 

Kangnam jiggled his keys as he reached for the remote, turning off the TV.  
"Boy, you're really tired today." 

Hangil did not reply. Kangnam sighed as he said, "It's not even Friday yet. I understand how you feel."

Hangil opened his eyes, forcing himself to stare sleepily at the older. "Kangnam, we need to talk."   
"Talk?" Kangnam looked back in surprise. "Alright, okay."

"It's about Japan," Hangil said as he sat up, arching an eyebrow when Kangnam stood still in silence. 

"Well," Kangnam chuckled. "What about Japan?"

"Did you plan to leave without me?" 

The older froze. Hangil shot a penetrating look, him expecting an honest answer from the other.   
Kangnam had glanced around of countless times before he uttered, "No, I did not."

"Really?" an unsure Hangil said.  
"Would I ever lie?" answered Kangnam, looking scattered.

"Then explain that ticket to Tokyo I found in our room." 

Kangnam heaved another sigh as he felt up his forehead, but was speechless.   
"Okay. I did, but.." 

"How could you?" Hangil interrupted. "We promised each other that we'd go together," said Hangil.  
"I'm sorry Hangil, but it's urgent. I have to stay there for a while to settle some issues there," explained the brittle Kangnam.

"You could have told me earlier," said Hangil. "But you didn't. Why?"

"I.." Kangnam paused. "I figured that it'd be better if you didn't know." 

"Are you crazy?" Hangil said as he stood up. "If you left all of a sudden in one night, I'd be so terrified, you know that?"  
"I know that we both promised ourselves that we'd go together soon," replied Kangnam. "I'm sorry I broke the promise like this, but I really have to go there alone."

Hangil furrowed his brows. "I can go with you."  
"You don't understand. It'll be much harder for you there when you follow me." said Kangnam, swallowing his lips. 

Hangil stopped staring at the other, sight focused on the ground instead.

Hangil tried his best to swallow all of his emotions away to find an unbiased answer. Kangnam stood, and it was as if he did not want to be domesticated again.

"No," said Hangil finally, gripping onto Kangnam's hand. "You're staying with me. You can't go."

Kangnam's eyes glittered. "You must understand," He spoke through his voice cracking. "And I'm only leaving just for a while."

"How long?" Hangil stared into the other's eyes, pressing his palm onto Kangnam's tightly. "I'm scared it might be eternity. I can't lose you." 

"I promise I'll never abandon you here alone, I -"

"How long?" repeated Hangil, his lips trembling. 

Kangnam shook away Hangil's grip.   
"I knew this would happen," he said, sighing after, Hangil's constant sniffing making him unable to focus. 

The both of them gazed at one another. Soon Kangnam backed away, but Hangil had held onto him in time; yet he hesitated. Kangnam paused for a few moments, Hangil facing his back, before the older shook away Hangil's hand again. 

Staring at his own partner whom he once was very in love with, the one that built him up, and now the one blatantly destroying him, Hangil's heart grew heavier and heavier as Kangnam shut his room door.

 

**[Kangnam]**

 

It was pitch dark, and four in the morning. 

I wasn't allowed to sneak out to have brisk walks like always anymore; and it was the same for switching on the TV and watching it - they were big 'no-no's for my mom. 

Eyes fixed on the ceiling, I tried to reach for it. It was higher than my old apartment. 

I looked over at the bin. My heart pounded when I saw a visible envelope I trashed into it. I quickly glanced away, but then I stared at it again.

I got up and took the letters and envelopes out while I quivered inside; turned on the lamp as I sat down to sort them. 

My fingers slid through them. Then I unintentionally read the words on the first letter, that were written in italic and blue ink from a familiar pen again. 

"Kangnam", it said on the envelope in big letters. Long paragraphs consisting of frequent "I'm sorry"s, and "I miss you"s scribbled onto the beginning letter. 

It all came back to me. I could remember it all clearly. 

Hangil was begging, practically begging. He cried, so did I. It was a few hours before I left. He hadn't cried his heart out that much before. He threw my luggage on the floor as he wept. Him saying that he never met anyone so beautiful like me, him saying that I was his favorite, me screaming at him in his face, telling him that he was lying. 

He was asking what was the true reason of my departure, asking whether or not my love for him faded away. "It'll break my heart if you admit it," he had said, "But at least I'll know the reason why."

Then I quit my job. It was one of the hardest things to do. Jongsu gave me a big hug and a pat on the back. Friends there had a surprise farewell party for me. Giseok took my position as server; for he was losing almost every job he was offered. My heart fluttered as it reminded me of Hangil and I, when Jongsu and Giseok hugged each other in happiness. I specially told Kaitlyn to give Giseok chances. I hope he's doing well. They wished me good luck for the future, and I figured I'd never look back. I left the apartment to Hangil.

Hangil said that he was sorry for everything at the end.

I couldn't read them any longer. It had me remember again and again, whatever I needed to forget.

Crushing all of the papers for the trillionth time, the many creases becoming more visible to the eye, I place my hands to lean on my forehead as I shut my eyes.

I left because I thought Hangil was the one suffocating in our relationship. I had to have a fresh start. I never imagined this would happen.

He wrote to me, letters every week after I left for Japan, each one saddening myself more. I wrote back in a different writing style that he got the wrong address, but Hangil never stopped sending them in. He didn't care until the sixth, to which he ended with the words he wrote, "I know you want freedom, so I'll give it to you. I won't bother you anymore."

I threw the crushed up balls of paper and creased envelopes into the bin once more. 

I wasn't cheating on him. I never did.

I never did.


End file.
